Confessions of a Train Wreck
by bustedflipflop
Summary: There is no way Rogue's parents drove a VW Bug with flowers on it and did all those drugs and nonsense in an attempt to reach the "Far Banks" and named her something like "Anna Marie". My biggest headcanon brought to life. I say the "F-word" a bunch.


**Disclaimer: I wrote 95% of this story when I was very drunk. It's called "Method Writing". This is the first and last fanfiction I will most likely ever write.**

* * *

Rogue was drunk. For the first time in... maybe ever? Was this drunk? Is this what it felt like? Having an invulnerable body since you're 18 does that. Prevents inebriation. There may have been a few times when she and Wolverine went shot for shot with several bottles of whiskey and she might have had a bit of a buzz, but that was nothing compared to her current state. There was a complete fog around everything but at the same time she felt GOOD.

It was a whole new world of sensations since getting skewered through the chest with a giant sword. She hadn't realized this is what other people felt. She'd forgotten really. The way they could feel every wisp of hair on their neck or burn their feet walking on hot sand at the beach. When bullets bounce offa you, it sorta dulls your nerves. The sensation is there sure, but it's not the same. Most people didn't really understand that.

It also gave you what seemed to be an indomitable liver and metabolism like a bullet blender. Now she was learning the hard way what it was like to have the body and digestive system of a normal person.

The night had started innocent enough. Dinner out and a bottle (maybe two?) of wine. Afterward, they had stopped off at a local bar they had begun to frequent because it had a pool table. They had more drinks; there might have been whiskey. About halfway through the 2nd game was when she began to miss the cue ball entirely.

"I hate this damn game." She grumbled, leaning against the pool cue.

"You've liked it plenty of times before now." Remy declared looking at her with knowing eyes. "You're drunk. That's what this is."

That damned smarmy ass smile…

"Ima not drunk!" She answered back defiantly, but on further contemplation asked, "This is drunk?!"

"Welcome to the world of those with vulnerable livers, Chere."

That smile. AGAIN.

"You're tryin' to tell me you aren't feelin' tipsy?"

If Remy was being honest, he was definitely more loaded than he normally allowed himself to become. He would never admit it, but without his powers, his metabolism wasn't the same either. But for the first time in a long time, he was having fun. Just good old fashion fun, without the feeling that the world could come crashing down around them at any moment. He stared at her scowl for a beat trying to decide the best way to proceed.

"I didn't say that…but I can tell when it's time for us to make the call to head for home…" he finally replied.

They poured out the back door onto the boardwalk and the cooler air of the night stumbling hand in hand.

California was romantic as fuck. The waves crashing. The salt in the air. Actually being able to see the stars in the sky and take the time to enjoy them. Their recent lives hadn't provided such luxuries.

They bought tacos at the truck always parked strategically for late night patrons.

"Oh. We gonna need ahlot of tacos." Rogue stated to the man in the window. She rattled off an order, changing her mind several times before turning to Gambit to see if he wanted anything. He declined knowing what she had already ordered was more than enough for the two of them, electing to sit on the stairs leading to the boardwalk instead. The fuzziness in his temples reminded him he had a definite buzz going on. Sooner or later Rogue plopped down beside him. They sat together on the boardwalk steps looking at the night sky and waiting for their food. Rogue slipped her arm into his and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Thisisnice…" she murmured as she closed her eyes appearing to doze off, only to perk up and hop to her feet running the second they called her order.

When they got home, Rogue busted in the door kicking off her shoes into the corner with a "WOOOOOO - HOP! Fuck these shoes!" and sending sand flying in their wake.

She unceremoniously dropped the bag of tacos on the coffee table and sat on the floor with her back leaning against the couch as she ripped the paper bag open to make a placemat. Taking out the individually wrapped packages and ripping off the tinfoil and naming them as she went. "Beeef. Chicken. Chorizo!? Oh shit! I got tamales?!"

Gambit poured a glass of water for each of them and then sat down on the floor across from her.

"It's a damn feast" she proclaimed, looking at all the food laid out on the table.

"That it is." He said trying to be agreeable to her apparent state.

They continued to enjoy their feast for a few minutes before Rogue interrupted.

"You know...I need to tell you sumthin." She mumbled.

"What's that?" he asked.

"My real name ain't Anna-Marie." She stated plainly. Looking at him with one eye focused on him and one going in a completely different direction.

"No?" Remy asked, looking for where she was going with this because, honestly, this could go in a lot of directions and kinky roleplaying was definitely one of them.

"No, it's the name I have now but it ain't the name my parents gave me when I was born."

Now wait a minute, what the fuck was this?

"What do you mean? You lied to me?"

"No nononononnono…no" she insisted, "Anna-Marie is my 'legal' name," she said using finger quotes around the word legal, "but it was changed because no one wanted to called me the name my parents gave me."

He forgave her obvious slurring and waited for her to continue. Instead she just ate a taco, smashing it into the cup of green sauce apparently forgetting where she was going with this conversation.

"Well, are you gonna tell me or leave me hanging in suspense?"

"Huh? Oh. Yoah gonna laugh…"

Taco pieces flew through the air.

"I ain't gonna laugh."

"Yoh will, believe me, there's a reason why I keptit under wraps." She waved a finger at him.

For a while she was hoping he would forget what they were talking about because for damn sure she didn't mean to let that slip. But he didn't. He stared at her. His eyes burning over the tacos but not adding any more flavor. There was no escaping this one she realized. The only way to escape was to just bite the bullet. Take the plunge. Rip off the band-aid. Just fucking DO it.

"It's Rainbow Honeysuckle..." she whispered and then immediately clapped her hand over her mouth.

Oh God. She said it. She said it OUT LOUD! She paused for a moment looking like she was staring into an abyss of horror.

You've gotta be fucking kidding…

Then it all came rolling out like uncontrollable word vomit.

"That's the name my parents gave me, and I still remember it. When I went to live with my aunt she said it wsan'y prop'r enough. There was no way she was gaoin go to the school and register me by that name or stand out on the back porch callinn me home. So one day she came to me and saind "Rainbow Honeysuckle ain;t no name for a little girl, from now on youahr Anna-Marie." And I was just a little girl, so I didn't know shit. I thought my name was just fine cause no one had any told me any different and it took me awhile but then I started to respond to her when she called me 'Anna-Marie' and then I wen to school and they all called me that same name. But I always knew theat isn't what my momma intended. She wanted them to call me Rainbow Honeysuckle."

Remy said nothing. He covered his mouth with his hands feigning shock so she wouldn't see him struggling not to laugh in her damn face.

"But if we are being honest…" she continued, "…Rainbow Honeysuckle is a stupid ass name. It sounds like a rejected Care Bear…"

"More like a My Little Pony." He replied. "A folksy ass My Little Pony."

She looked at him. The shock on his face was very real. Raised eyebrows, open eyes, and a half open mouth. Oh, Jesus, he shouldn't have said that.

One look at his face was all it took.

She burst out laughing.

Laughing at the absurdity of the situation, at his reaction, and at her hippie ass name. She snorted, she wheezed, she gasped. He had never heard her laugh like this before. It was the ugliest laugh Remy had ever heard in his life, but as she rolled on the floor he knew he would do anything to see her laugh this genuinely again. There was nothing holding her back and this was the first time he could ever say she had been so carefree.

"Are you fucking with me!?" he demanded. "Are you stoned?! Did you eat those brownies Jack gave us without me?!"

They were saving those for a special occasion!

"No! I swear!" she gasped. "It's not like you're much better! Your name sounds like a damned Sandra Hill character! Remy 'The Beautiful'. Goddamn!" She threw a lime wedge at him for dramatic effect.

Who the fuck was Sandra Hill?

She continued to clutch her stomach, screeching with laughter.

Before he knew it, he was laughing too. They both collapsed in a fit of giggling. When they finally gained composure, he had moved over to her side of the table. He looked her straight in the eye.

"For REAL?!" he demanded an answer again squeezing her sides where he knew she was ticklish.

"YES! You dammidiot! Why would I lie about that?" She screeched trying to squirm out of his grasp. "I'm hammered and just told you my deepess goddaman secret!"

He put his arm around her bringing his mouth close to her ear.

"Your name could be Princess Pancake of the Butter Dimension and I wouldn't care…"

"You always say the sweetest shit…" she replied lightly kissing that space between his eye and ear right on the hairline. "Now lok out, I gotta pee." And with that she placed a hand on his head, using it as leverage to hoist herself off the floor, and stumbled off to the bathroom.

The next morning, Rogue woke up with what was assumed to be her first hangover. Her head spun. She was no stranger to a good migraine, but this time her burps tasted like … beef and onions?

She let out an uncontrollable, "Guuhhhh" as the light came through the window and landed directly on her face. "Oh God, I hate the sun."

"How are you feeling?" Remy asked seemingly appearing magically and setting a glass of water down in front of her before returning to his side of the bed.

"I've had worse headaches." She replied taking a long drink of water. "I would say 'I'm never drinking again' but that would be a lie. Last night was a lot of fun."

It was then she looked down at her own appearance.

"Damn. Did I sleep in my clothes?" Rogue questioned upon seeing she was in the same clothes from the night before.

"Well, you told me you were going to the bathroom and then never came back."

"So, you just left me like this?" She asked.

"Well when I came in and found you I tried to wake you up, but you said, and I quote, 'Keep you're dirty Cajun paws offa me. Leave me alone.' So, I did."

She laid back down and rolled over onto her side with "hrumpf"

After a few moments of silence, Remy tried to lure her back into conversation, an attempt to get back in her good graces.

"Last night was a lot of fun? Wasn't it? I don't remember the last time we could just kick back and enjoy ourselves." He commented jovially.

"It sure was. But if I'm being honest, I don't remember damn near anything after we left the bar." She admitted.

She still faced away from him with her eyes closed. The sheets pulled up to her chin.

"Reeallly? Nothing at all?" Remy probed.

Damn. This was going to be fun. He made himself comfortable.

"I remember walking down the boardwalk and thinking the moon was AMAZING, but I don't really remember getting home…OH WAIT! We were laughing! A lot… but I don't remember why."

"REEALLLLLY?"

"What the Hell, Remy! Why did something happen?"

"Nothing too incredibly important, I don't think. I'm trying to remember the details myself. We just had us a good ol' fashion conversation about nature. Maybe it was the weather or the sky like a cloud or a sunset…some type of flowers… huckleberry or magnolias…."

"What in tarnation are you frigging talking about?!"

She was growing increasingly annoyed. Her back was still to him, but he could see her furrowing her brow from his vantage point.

"Oh yeah! I remember now, chere!" he said with mock enthusiasm, slapping the bed. "We were talkin' about Care Bears and My Little Ponies! And how funny it would be if they had a crazy hippie name. You know like Shadow Water or Rainbow Honeysuckle!"

…

FUCK.

She turned slowly, peering over her shoulder at him where he laid on the bed his head propped up on one hand.

"What. Did you say?"

He just grinned in response. That dumb smug ass face. She wanted to hit it, but she was still too deep in shock. Fuck. It all seeped back in slowly. Her late-night drunken confession. Her biggest secret so carelessly blabbed. THE TACOS! She wasn't feeling nauseous before but now she sure as Hell was.

"Oh. My. GGODDDD!"

She covered her face in embarrassment and rolled back over.

He cuddled up behind her. "You're just my very own Morning Sunshine, my little Moonlight Haze."

"Get the hell off me." She groaned. "You're being obnoxious."

"What do you mean?" He asked rolling his body weight onto her, wrapping his arms around her, and pressing her into the mattress. "I've spent all morning and some of last night thinking of ways I can tease you about this."

"I'm never telling you anything again."

She shifted in a half-hearted attempt to escape his grasp. Eventually, she gave in to her fate and reached to hold onto his arms as a sign of surrender. He squeezed her tighter.

After a few minutes, she whispered "You really promise you won't tell anyone?"

"Don't worry, chere, I won't tell anyone, I swear. It'll be like that Goo Goo Dolls Song. But don't think I don't have a looonnngg list of new names for you to consider which I may or may not suggest at inopportune times…"

"Goddamnit, Remy!"

He laughed and kissed her jaw once then twice for good measure to help calm her down.

"So, Anna, you got any more questions about your first official drunken blackout?"

"Only one." She turned in his arms and whispered in his ear…

.

.

.

"What did you do with the leftover tacos?"


End file.
